Jess you crack me up, you’re so fucking ridiculous and I think you know it. I wonder why Coke hasn’t banned you but she probs has her reasons. You really know the bitch? Are you a troll or no?! How’s your week goin’ anyhow? I had to play a fucking stupid game at work which is supposed to build team morale, but it just involved exchanging slips of paper saying ten good things about a person and we all had to guess who it was lol.
I know her but you’d have to kill me before I ever gave away her identity. As for whether or not I am a troll, I’d have to kill you for you to find out.
My week’s fine, thanks for asking. It’s nearly the lunar new year and it’s a big thing for my family. My parents are busy sending cards and decorating, and I’m just over here chillin’ and hoping I won’t have to field too many questions about marriage from relatives this year. It’s kind of like Christmas without the snow.
Your company game sounds bizarre. Let me guess, HR thought it was brilliant and there’s that much distrust in your work space that you might actually need that. Allow me to make a suggestion. Go on one of those company camping trips. Yes, all of you. There’s nothing as warming as a campfire and when you’re a hundred and five feet from the air in an obstacle course, you’ll be too busy collectively doubting the reliability of the net you’re on to remember the mutual suspicion that’s inbuilt into our lizard brains.
You’ll sleep under the same goddamned stars remembering you’re on the same goddamned team.